Trowa's Haircut
by fufu berry
Summary: Third Chapter/Epilogue posted up! Mwahahah! Tell me whatcha think of my first humour story, heh.
1.

Trowa's Haircut  


_Okay, here's my first official attempt at a humour story. Kathleen decides to give Trowa a haircut, and when he learns that Heero is coming over, he subdues. Heh, enjoy!_

(Kathleen is at the backstage of the circus alone with Trowa, while the rest of the staff is still performing)

Kathleen: You did a great job tonight Trowa!

Trowa: Thanks...

Kathleen: You know, it takes a lot of skill, not to be hit with five steak knives

Trowa: ...Yeah.

(They sit in awkward silence for a moment, Kathleen clears her throat, and tries again.)

Kathleen: _*Ahem*_ You know Trowa, it's been a while, and I think it's time I gave you a haircut.

Trowa: ...

Kathleen: Well?, what do you think?

Trowa: No.

Kathleen(in a demanding voice): Why not?

Trowa: No one can touch my hair.

Kathleen(Starting to well up): I only wanted you to look your best...After-After all, Heero's coming over today, and you know how he feels about your hair.

Trowa(suddenly becomes more alert): Heero? He's coming over today?! And he said something about my hair?

(Kathleen smiled and thought to herself, 'Heh heh, I knew he'd cave in. Leave it to Trowa's nonsexual crush to convince him.')

Kathleen(casually): Well...it was nothing. Just something about how it was so uncool, and that it was a disgrace to the rest of the Gundam group. Oh yeah, he also mentioned that it was a bad style, even for Wufei. But it was all pretty vague, nothing in particular.

Trowa: Heero..._said_ that about me?!

Kathleen: He even mentioned, that Duo was a way better sidekick. He said that at least he puts his hair in a braid so he could see more than a third of his face.

Trowa(With shocked expression on his face): Heero...

Kathleen: If you just got your hair cut though, he might like you better.

Trowa(Starts pouting): But, but he said I was uncool! Waah!

Kathleen(rolls eyes): He probably didn't mean it that way. Look, if you just got your haircut, I'm sure he'd take back that Wufei comment.

Trowa(looks up with big, puppy dog eyes):*Sniffle*An', And maybe, I could be his sidekick?

Kathleen: Of course! So what d'ya say huh? You want to be Heero's sidekick?

Trowa: *sniffle*Yeah.

Kathleen: And are YOU prepared to change your looks, just so he'd like you better?

Trowa: Yeah!

Kathleen: And DO you want to be an egoless suckup to Heero, just so that he could acknowledge your existence?

Trowa: Yeah!

Kathleen: Great! let's go to the bathroom then!

Next time, on Gundam Wing: Heero comes to visit  
Exactly what _will_ happen to our beloved Trowa? And how will all the Gundam guys react? Tune in next time, to find out!

Did you like it? I know, I layered the insults a little thick. Gomen. Actually, this looks like it's going to be a three part fic. I don't know what happened.

Also, I was only able to watch about ten episodes before my sole source cut it off, so, please correct me if i have made any mistakes.

I'm not the creator of Gundam Wing. I do not own any of it. 


	2. 

Trowa's Haircut  


Last time, Kathleen convinced Trowa to get a haircut...Really, that's all that happened.

_Author's note:_ Sorry, but I can't make any guarantees about Trowa's hair. All i know, is that somehow, the g-boys are involved with the outcome:p. But that doesn't mean i won't try, whatever works best for the story. Also, i'm not a fan of yaoi, I'm just teasing Trowa because i only got to see the part where Heero self-detenates for the first time, and Trowa said he admired him. They won't be doing anything radical. Well, not in THAT context anyway... 

Kathleen(Takes out her steak knives): We just need to rinse and give you a trim. Before you know it, you'll be a brand new Trowa.

Trowa: Um, do you know what you're doing?

Kathleen: Of course. These knives have never let me down. Isn't that right ol' Betsy?

Trowa(eyes widen): Uhhh, aren't you supposed to use scissors?

Kathleen(fumes and grits her teeth): I _said_, these knives, have _*never*_ let me down. Comprende?

Trowa(sweatdrop): Yes M'aam.

(Just as Trowa's hair is finished soaking, and he is beginning to relax, he and Kathleen hear a familiar voice.)

Duo: Trowa, my man! How're you doing?

Trowa(Sits up): Duo? That must mean that Heero is here! Hurry it up Kathleen! Cut it now! We don't have much time!

Duo: Relax dude! Heero's out making a burial ground for all the squirrels and whatnot that he crushed along the way.

Trowa(big, watery eyes): He's...so noble!

Duo: Actually, Quatre made him. We wanted to stall so that you could compose yourself before he arrived.

Trowa: ??

Duo: C'mon, we all know about you're nonromantic crush on Heero.

Trowa: That's not true! I just think he's a good guy. That's all.

Duo: Yeah, so you even try to self-detenate yourself to be just like him.

Kathleen(pipes in): I know! There was even this one time, when he lent him his Gundam. And Trowa never lets me come within a 10 meter radius of it.

(Trowa sweatdrops and spots Wufei)

Trowa: Look everyone! Wufei's here!

Wufei: Ah, I see that Trowa's changing his appearance as a result of his nonromantic crush on Heero again.

Trowa: GACK!

Wufei: Well, hurry it up weak woman! There can only be a certain amount of dead squirrels and moldy leaves that look like dead squirrels in the forest.

Kathleen: Hmmph!(starts snippi-er, chopping)

Meanwhile...

Quatre:_*Oh man, i'm running out of dead squrrels*_

Heero: Hey Quatre, I think that's the last of 'em.

Quatre: Uh, I think there's one right here!

Heero(comes running over, inspects it for a while):...No that isn't, that's just a pile of moldy leaves.

Quatre: Oh, heh, it's these goggles. They need to be cleaned.

Heero (sweatdrop): Let's go inside. They're all waiting for us.

Quatre: No wait, um, before you do that, there's one very, very important thing we forgot.

Heero: What's that?

Quatre: Er, we have to, hmm, we have to--pray! That's it! It would be very disrespectful to not send our best wishes to those poor, tragic, little creatures.

Heero(rolls eyes): *sigh* if you insist, Quatre.

Back to Trowa's hair...

Duo: Er, correct me if I'm wrong, but, aren't you supposed to use scissors for this?

(Kathleen glares at him)

Wufei(Digs his face into his hands): No, no weak woman! You're doing it all wrong! You trim the back first, and move your way to the front!

Kathleen: But the back doesn't NEED any trimming! If anything, it's those bangs that need to go.

Duo: You know, it wouldn't look half bad if we dyed it.

(Trowa, Kathleen, and Wufei look at each other and sweatdrop. They all start arguing at once.)

Outside in the forest...

Quatre(peeks at Heero through one eye): Um, and thankyou God, for the manufacturer of Gundams, and all the Gundam merchandise. I will now list them in alphabetical order...

Heero(mega-sweatdrop, and spirals for eyes): Oi...

How does Trowa's hair turn out? Will Heero ever get inside? Read the next chapter of, Trowa's Haircut.

Yeah, someone pointed out to me that it's Catherine, not Kathleen, but we'll just ignore that, OK?  
I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its components.


	3. 

Trowa's Haircut  


Last time, Kathleen, Duo, and Wufei experiment with Trowa's hair, while Quatre tries to keep Heero from seeing it. What does Trowa's hair look like now?

_Author's note:_ Heh, sorry about the infatuation with the sweatdrops, they are just so much fun when you're writing! Thanks for the 13 peeps who reveiwed. If it weren't for them, i would have never continued writing this fic. Thanks!*blows hugs and kisses* AHH! THIS IS THE ONE WHERE FUFU BERRY LOSES HER SANITY AND CUTS OFF TROWA'S HAIR! TURN BACK!!! TURN BAAACK!!!

(After hours of painstaking work, Kathleen, Duo, and Wufei finish perfecting their work. Kathleen hands Trowa the mirror.)

Trowa: AUUGH!(passes out)

Kathleen(frowning): That was odd. I thought that at least he would appreciate my spikes.

Wufei(mutters): Ugh, I _knew_ that this would happen.

Duo(rubs his neck): Well, good thing he hasn't seen the back... 

(The three stand there, not knowing what to do with our beloved Trowa. All of a sudden, they hear a voice.)

Heero(storms towards the circus tent): That's it Quatre! I'm absolutely NOT going to cremeate a pile of squirrels!

Quatre: But it would be so disrespectful! Think of those poor, innocent creatures!

Heero: I _know_ you guys are up to something. Never mess with the Perfect Soldier.

(Quatre makes a feeble attempt to stop the determined Heero, but fails. Heero sees Kathleen, Duo, and Wufei staring at the unconscious Trowa.)

Heero: Would someone please tell me what's going o-(Sees Trowa's head)SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY!(stares in horror.)

Duo: No one has commented on the green rat's tail yet...

Heero(Still recovering from shock): I-It looks like a bunch of Treize's eyebrows...superglued to his head.

Wufei(Smirking): Heh, at least it's aerodynamic.

(Everyone sweatdrops, Wufei looks around innocently.)

Kathleen(rolling eyes): Wufei...about your sense of humour...please don't show it again.

Quatre(Panting from exhaustion): Look Heero! I found some matches inside Sandrock's glove compartment! Now we can start the official ceremonies. (Spots Heero inside) Oh, I see you've found Trowa.(Walks up to them)

Kathleen, Duo, Wufei, and Heero(with wide eyes and waving hands): No, don't! Stay back!

Quatre(still approaching): What do you mean? Why are you guys excluding me again? Just because I'm nice doesn't mean th-(sees Trowa's head, and falls to the floor.)_Someone_ hold me!

Duo: Wake up dude! You've got to see the, mmph, 'word' I've shaved onto his head!

Quatre(Blinking): He, he looks as if a bunch of Dorthy's eybrows, were superglued to his head...

(Wufei opens his mouth, but everyone looks at him. Trowa starts waking up.)

Trowa(Sobbing): My hair! (sob)My beautiful hair!

(Kathleen walks over to comfort him.)

Heero: It's not that bad...

Trowa: Yes it is. Waaah!

(Everyone sweatdrops)

Trowa(Gets up): I'm going to, gonna take my Gundam out for a while.

6 Months later...

Kathleen: *Sigh* Trowa'll never come back. I'll bet he's still mad at me.

Wufei: How could he? He can fly faster than ever before, with his streamlined hair.

(Everyone mega-sweatdrops and changes the subject)

Duo: Can I see your knives Kathleen?

Trowa(Makes a grand entrance wearing a Tuxedo Mask suit, with Tuxedo Mask music playing in the background.): Stop! Do not play with knives, for knives are dangerous to play with. It disturbs the peaceful beauty of the world, which fills us all with peace.

Kathleen: Trowa! You're Back!

Trowa: Knives are a part of danger, children should not have to see this danger. For children are filled with a beauty, much like this rose. The peace tha...

Kathleen(Traumatized): Trowa, you've...changed...

(Everyone sweatdrops while Trowa rambles on with his Tuxedo Mask speech for another three hours)

Trowa: ...And so, these knives must not be played with, for they, disturb the peace inside us all.

Kathleen(mumbles): Lord _save_ us...

Duo: ZzZzZ...(Wufei whacks him)

Trowa(Perkily): So guys! Did you miss me?

Kathleen: Trowa...(hesitates)_where_ have you been?

Trowa: Well, I went down into the ocean to sulk, just like Heero would have. But then, I realized that I needed to breathe, thus I went up for air. Then, I saw him.

Quatre(almost afraid to ask): Who?

Trowa: *Sigh* The greatest hero of all time. Tuxedo Mask!

Kathleen, Duo, Wufei, Quatre, and Heero: GACK!

Trowa: Yeah! And he took one look at me and said(assumes Tuxedo-Mask-smelling-a-beautiful-flower position), "You're hair is li-"(Kathleen interrupts)

Kathleen: Just cut to the chase, okay?

Trowa: He gave me his hat in order to save the peace and beauty in this world! Now I'm gonna copy his every move!

(Mega sweatdrops as far as the eye can see)

Heero: Trowa, you can't be serious...

Trowa: Well, if you don't like me being the follower of Tuxedo Mask, there's always the Moonlight Knight.

(Narrarator: Er, I won't go there. To sum it up, everyone was satisfied. Trowa's hair eventually grew back to normal, but you couldn't see it because of his Moonlight Knight disguise.)

**The End.**

Awww! Poor Trowa! Look at what i've done! Seriously, when i started out this fic, i didn't mean to be so mean to him. Really! This is the best i could come up with. It's this vaccination i had to take yesterday. *grumbles*Stupid needles, making my arm and head all sore. Ugh, it hurts to think. Anyway, i'm seriously obsessed with getting reviews. I want to see exactly how many people enjoyed my story(I know, i know, it's just a waste of megs on fanficcy's hard drive:p).

I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its components.


End file.
